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Joke Of The Day


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#341 mibrains

mibrains

    Why do you eat people? Not people...BRAINS

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Posted 23 March 2015 - 04:39 PM

thats not a joke...

 

thats reality.

 

sometimes the two things get crossed :)


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#342 grassmatch

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Posted 23 March 2015 - 07:14 PM

A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon and set it on the table. The diner was impressed. "Do all the waiters carry spoons in their pockets?"

The waiter replied, "Yes. Ever since we had that efficiency expert out; he determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the spoon off the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen."

The diner ate his meal. As he was paying the waiter, he commented, "Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly?"

The waiter replied, "Yes, we all do. Seems that the same efficiency expert determined that we spend too much time washing our hands after using the men's room. So, the other end of that string is tied to my penis. When I need to go, I simply pull the string to pull out my penis, go, and return to work. Having never touched myself, there is no need to wash my hands. Saves a lot of time."

Wait a minute," said the diner, "how do you get your penis back in your pants?"

"Well, I don't know about the other guys, but I use the spoon."
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#343 grassmatch

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Posted 23 March 2015 - 07:16 PM


Taoism
bunny muffin happens.

Buddhism
If bunny muffin happens, it's not really bunny muffin.

Islam
If bunny muffin happens, it's the will of Allah.

Protestantism
bunny muffin happens because you don't work hard enough.

Judaism
Why does this bunny muffin always happen to us?

Hinduism
This bunny muffin happened before.

Catholicism
bunny muffin happens because you're bad.

Hare Krishna
bunny muffin happens rama rama.

T.V. Evangelism
Send more bunny muffin.

Atheism
No bunny muffin.

Jehova's Witness
Knock knock, bunny muffin happens.

Hedonism
There's nothing like a good bunny muffin happening.

Christian Science
bunny muffin happens in your mind.

Agnosticism
Maybe bunny muffin happens, maybe it doesn't.

Rastafarianism
Let's smoke this bunny muffin.

Existentialism
What is bunny muffin anyway?

Stoicism
This bunny muffin doesn't bother me.



#344 grassmatch

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 06:48 PM

Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life, has obviously never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.




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